The love we had together, just fades away in time. And now you've got your own world, and I guess I've got mine. But the passion that you planted, in the middle of my heart, is a passion that will never stop. (Kasih sayang di antara kita, akhirnya pudar juga. Dan kini kau bersama duniamu, dan akupun di duniaku sendiri. Namun semangat yang kau tanam, jauh di lubuk hatiku, adalah semangat yang tak pernah padam).
Most men’s understanding of how to please a woman in bed could be written on the back of a postage stamp. However chaps, today is your lucky day, because below are 10 great tips which will make any woman quiver. She may not be swinging from the rafters or jumping from the wardrobe but even a little step in the right direction is good and with a little practice who knows, perhaps you will need to buy a sturdier wardrobe after all!
1. Be Sensual
Although, theoretically, we all come from the same species it has to be understood that males and females are different. That’s just the way it is. The way that you want someone to come on to you probably isn’t the way any woman would want it to happen to them. The answer is to consider the situation from a sensual viewpoint, not a sexual encounter. A woman has to warm up, she has to feel wanted and cherished. Tender caressing and lots of quiet whispers will start any woman, but be patient and gentle too and let her control the timing.
2. Understand her Body and Mind
A woman’s body can be considered as a package, although the vagina is the sexual organ there are many other areas which have to be considered. First of all understand that sex and love are linked in most women’s minds. Have lots of eye contact, gentle caressing, hugging and the sexual aspects will happen almost automatically. Understand her body language, silence can be good but it can also indicate that something is not good for her. If she keeps trying to adjust out of one position then encourage to get to where she wants to be.
3. It’s Special and Unique
Although there are lots of tours of ladies sexual organs available on the web and in books the simple truth is that no two people are the same. However knowledge of her anatomy is good as is an understanding of what makes a woman click. Find out where her erogenous zones are. Some women love being kissed around the ears, others like another part of the body caressed or kissed. Common areas are lips, breasts, belly button or inner thigh but it’s the man’s job to find the area that works.
4. Help with the Housework
You may think that this is an odd heading. However research has shown that women tend to work around the home more than men. They deal with the children, cook meals, tidy up and do the washing, as well as everything else. This means that they are more tired, and tired women go to bed to sleep, not make love. Help her around the house a bit more and get someone who has more energy just for you in the bedroom.
5. Tune in with Her
Forget the sex, if both of you are in tune then great sex will come naturally. Understand her signals and be aware that what a woman says and what she means need not be the same. Treat her like someone special, she is! Tell her how you feel about her, it’s easy to get into a routine or become lazy in a relationship. If things are beginning to warm up then take things slowly, enjoy the time and let things finish naturally. And don’t forget to hug her afterwards and pillow talk is still part of the love making as far as most women are concerned.
6. Encourage the Situation
Be spontaneous, surprise her with a meal at her favorite restaurant, give her a bunch of flowers, have candles in the bedroom or have a hot bath with candles and music to relax to ready for her when she comes in from a stressful day or when the children are away for the weekend. Tell her how special she is, be ‘touchy feely’ and caress her. Give her time and wait for things to develop. Allow time to listen or just have those silent moments together. Nurture her and remember that life takes its toll. Maybe we can’t stop thinking about work just yet or something one of the children’s teachers has said has struck deep.
Discuss things with each other. She may have an issue with something sexually but is just too shy to bring it up. Note the signs and encourage dialogue, be open to feedback. You may be surprised, some of it may even be positive! Don’t cover things up, be open, if both people are happy doing something then it is good. But this can only happen if both talk honestly. Everyone is different and we don’t come with a manual, we learn as we go, be kind but be honest.
8. Be Creative in Bed
Change your positions when you have sex, change the times and change the places too if that’s possible. Spice things up a bit, don’t allow yourselves to get into a routine. Try to give your lady an orgasm, why not try for two or three! Check out erotic publications or websites for ideas, perhaps some sex toys are the answer or maybe just the sexy underwear is enough for you. Do it together and who knows where it could lead to. But be relaxed, if the earth doesn’t move the first time then there will always be other opportunities.
9. Lots of Foreplay
Men go like rabbits, but women are much slower to get going so stifle your urge to finish and start providing some pleasure. Foreplay can just be gentle touching and caressing but oral sex can really get her in the mood. The vagina is a very sensitive organ and the most sensitive area is around the outside. The clitoris is the area to work on, the tongue is just such a natural explorer of a woman especially when used gently and patiently.
10. It’s all about Love
Behave in a loving manner, when she is slow to warm up relax, we all have some days better than others. Men are better at separating sex and love, most women tend to see them as very closely related. Treat your woman with love and care and the sexual side of the relationship will flourish. Be open about what you like but listen to her desires, most couples find that this turns out to be a win-win situation.